Waiting Waiting Waiting...still waiting...i don't mean to complain..but honestly..when is it gonna be my turn. It feels like everyone around me has someone. I'm so happy for them! I just wanna know when my turn will come. I know that everything happens for a reason..and Heavenly Father has a plan. I guess I'm just impatient. But honestly this isn't me just whining after waiting a good month. I feel like I've been waiting a long time. 2 years! That is a long time. And ya know what...not to sound full of myself..but i have A LOT of love to give. I like spoiling people and letting them know that i love them. I love loving people. I just want someone that i can hug. Some people say I'm just to picky. But you just know..when you come across people you can feel it in your heart. My heart has just been empty lately. I mean i love my family and my friends more than anything. But there are things that they can't do. And I've had little crushes here and there but nothin serious. And what makes it worse is that I've convinced myself to a point that I am just to picky so i make myself feel things for people. But they aren't real..and after so long i become heart broken because i can't force myself to have feelings for people. It just doesn't work that way ya know. But i don't know what to think anymore. Am i really to picky? Is it just not my time? Maybe i had my great love already (and if thats the case just please kill me now cuz i definately got the crap end of that deal). WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?! Am i being punished for something? Maybe i need to rethink how I'm living my life and fix something. All i want is to fall in love. I want to fall hard and this time i don't want to be the only one who falls in love. I want someone that will fall with me. I want to text someone "I love you" in the middle of the day just so they'll smile. I want a hug just because. I want to be able to sit on the couch with someone and just be next to them. I want to bake someone cookies. I want to hear a song and smile because it reminds me of him. I want to smile for no reason other than the thought of his face. But maybe my problem is i want to much. Maybe I'm asking to much right now. I just don't see how everyone around me can seem to find someone but I've been sitting here...alone...waiting for it to be my turn. I just feel like there's really something wrong with me. Maybe before i can expect anything to happen i should do some soul searching or something. I don't know. (By the way before i end this...sorry for the pity party..sometimes i just have to let everything out...because this is how i feel...and thank you to the wonderful friends i have that put up with my pity parties when they come along..i love you guys)
1 comment:
well being in love is great. i testify to that, but its also hard and a lot of work. maybe heavenly father wants you to work harder at something else right now so that when the time comes for mr. right... he wont just be mr. right now.. he will be the one you need. even if its not the person you marry, you still will have a bond with him that makes everything work, at least just for a little bit. all im really trying to say is that maybe god thinks you need a little more time. we all need more time, time to be our best selves and stop running arounds like chickens with our heads cut off. we have to be close to him to be close to someone else, and have it work out. i think im lucky, really lucky... and i am so happy, but i do get sad too.. because things dont always work out... it just takes time. trust me, i hate waiting. i will be waiting for 2 or 3 years... and i think waiting and knowing is a lot harder then waiting and not knowing at all. :D i love you, and your not picky, you just dont want to get hurt. btw... nice picture of me.. ASLEEP!! gaygaygay...
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